us see this movie with him (i.e. his wife, my wife, our two kids & me). We told him our family wanted to wait and see this movie as a DVD Rental. F-I-L said he’d treat all of us to the movie.
We don’t usually buy refreshments at theatres because they charge so much. As soon as F-I-L had the tickets in hand, he asked my kids if they wanted candy, popcorn and soda pop? And of course they did!
So we ordered the refreshments and my F-I-L turns to me and says: “Since I paid to get everyone in, you should pay for the refreshments” So I paid and it cost almost me as much as he paid for the movie tickets.
After everyone got their refreshments, my F-I-L announced: “Sam, this movie is your birthday present from me.” (My birthday is a month away)
This caught me off-guard since I spent almost as much on refreshments as he spent for the tickets to this movie. After the movie was over (which I still felt was a DVD rental quality movie) he repeated that he was really glad (cont. )
he could give me such a great birthday present!
Just to clarify, in the 20 years I’ve been his son-in-law, this is the 1st time he has given me a present.
Although I don’t think this experience really qualifies as present; drag us to movie we don’t really want to see, etc. . My wife and I give him birthday gifts every year.
So here’s my question, with 10 points going to the best answer:
Is my Father In Law a Jerk?
Kat G says
I would say your father in law has problems. People who do this type of stuff are not only looking to get there way by controlling others are looking for a pat on the back when they do what is normal. I would say thanks and move on. To be honest talking to him would be like talking to a brick wall as he will not see your point and call you unappreciative. I can relate to the fact that I hate to give the movie theater 5.00 for a popcorn and 4.00 for a soda it is outrageous.
Next time bring your own candy and or snacks in your wife’s purse this way kids can have something and your not getting
paying above and beyond to see a movie.
For your father in laws birthday I would buy him a movie ticket.
Jessie says
well obviously he is. He is a rude, insensitive jerk who to top it all off is a cheapskate.
Having said that I think your stuck with him.LOL
A month before his birthday invite him to a movie and say we thought we’d make it a tradition for birthdays. We’ll pick the movie like you did and pay for you and you can pick up the treats. Then pat him on the back and say it was such a great idea! Btw you have to be sure to order lots of treats to make yourself feel better LOL
Abbykins says
Jerk sounds so harsh, he may just be the clueless type. If this is his first present to you maybe he trying in his own "special" way. He obviously wanted to try & do something nice for you guys. Alot of older men get cheaper in their old age. Just let it go. Thats your FIL let him be.
Skittles_14 says
your right your fil is a jerk!!but have u talked to your wife abt it?? if she agrees with u i think u should either confront himand say something like i dont mind paying for the refreshments but u cant just tell me this is my birthday present when i paid for half of it and what happened has happened but i think u should reaalize that what u said was not right, and let yr wife help u …after all it is her dad
even if that doesnt work u have nothing to do but ignore and next time he asks u to the movies just remind hinm that u dont like buying refreshments and prefer watching movies on dvd at home…..if he doent get the message u should not have to deal with that issue.
highrise says
my question to you before i answer is, what kind of relationship do you have with him ? .i think it was probably his wife who suggested that he should try to be nice to you, so he did it in his way. it seems like there is a lack of communication between you guys and i don’t think that he’s a jerk, although i think the two of you have some unresolved issues, that if both continue to ignore could eventually affect the rest of your family. tell him how you feel, try to at least start a conversation about why he treats you the way he does…
chadowwalker says
uh yeah i think hes a complete a@@%$#* for that stunt i mean comon so he pays for the movies and then volunteers you for refreshments? nope denied 100% class A jerk material to me
~pyro
aquila1014 says
he sounds like he’s being selfish all his life. and what little he does give he feels its allot so just go with the flow and don’t let his selfishness change who you are. just say thank you very much at least he tried. and he probably is a jerk.
wolfcat says
maybe hes just getting old and senile. it happens!!!
sexybloomluvr says
Ummm to answer your question: yeppers he sure is a jerk. You should have refused to pay for the refreshments since he did state that the cost was all his. I personally would have walked out and let him "eat" the ticket cost. What a jerk! Yeah that is a good term.
My Three says
I really feel sorry for you but sometimes we do things just for our spouse not the family itself. In your case your father in law. Yes he is a jerk.
I am blessed with great in laws now but my ex husband’s mother oh my god would probably be the female version of your father in law.
Never satisfied with how I kept house or took care of my daughter.
I am glad you are still with your wife because my mother in law was in our life so much I left them two together because she refussed to realized we did not live together she had to go home.
So try to ignore his ignorance
jcf6865 says
NO, definitely not. Maybe, he didn’t think the whole situation through, but he did remember that it was almost your birthday.
J says
Sure sounds like it. You need to speak up. He invited everyone to get refreshments and then pushed the bill to you – you should have said no way dad – you asked everyone so it’s on you – and – thanks for the treat. If you missed that opportunity when he said this was a gift – you should have said you drag me to a movie and stick me with the refreshment bill and that is a gift? Maybe you should stick to your usual no gift plan.
OK I’m a bit of a smart mouth. Here is my philosophy – If people are so rude to try to stick you with a bill and rely on you being a gentleman – it is ok to not be a gentleman.